I remember as a student being extremely pleased when I did well in exams or in my job.. I could see that my parents were pleased as well but could not fathom how much till my son did well in his 10ths… I now know that as a parent the happiness is doubled..one at my own “achievement” (of enabling my son to do well in my own way) and a pride.. its not easily explainable..

What a typically thought-provoking post from you Ganga, and what a rich thread of comments following it.

This post reminded me of an old favourite book of mine, Dombey and Son – by Charles Dickens. Wish I could revisit that old friend now.

But coming back to the present circs., I am now both a daughter and a mother and identify with both roles so much. The joy and pride which my parents might find in me, I can now understand since I feel the same way about my children’s achievements. Earlier I would have just got embarrassed or upset by it, but now I am kinder when they gush about me since I do it all the time about my children’s accomplishments.

Keep blogging, Ganga.

Coming back to Hanumanth’s point – I do not want to make judgments – in the least about parents. I am just too proud myself of my Parents, who have given me the liberty to taking a US education, returning back to India for my profession and passion to work for my own country and also allowing me to marry a person of my choice. For me, they are more than God!
But, do realize that unconditional love of the parents never depends on expectations alone. It is obvious for parents to get hurt, when expectations are not met and that is bad. There is a proverb in Tamil which says “Petha mannam pitthu, pillai mannam kallu” – which means “The parent’s heart is always mad, the child’s heart is of stone”.
But, this madness in parents allows them to overcome hurts and I am sure they would say to themselves – ” He/She is after all my child, let me forgive him/her”. And as children we learn that we have hurt them enough and almost always either regret our mistakes or try to make up for that hurt.
Also note that if you were to admire other qualities in your child, parents just do not stop at admiration. It is possible that parents encourage children to pursue their own interests – Sachin and Einstein are not born just like that, they also need the right support to grow in Life. This is what I was pointing at.
Our system of education and the societal setting is such that, if we see a person get a car, get a house, see his children doing good in studies, we also wish for that. Everyone does. But the point is, in that mad rush to achieve the best things in Life, consider how would it be if you were to allow the untrodden paths in Life to lead your child to greater glory, far greater than your expectations as a Parent.